A former PFC who got demoted for disrespecting another pre-Madonna Major who looked so clean, all spit shined and polished as if he was still State side standing there at the 2/1 front gate as if he had an itch up his ass needing someone to scratch it.
He greeted me as I walked Point for the trip back as Jones-E needed a break that day coming back in. After a tough three day's of patrols and night ambushes in very hot sticky wet muddy conditions... only to be told, "that I was a Disgrace to the uniform."
Well excuse me sir, I would have stopped at one of the nearest Motel 6 for a quick triple S, shit, shower, and shave, if I knew you were here waiting for us. Thats not what I said but thats what I can say, can say, that I said, if you know what I mean, that I meant?
Well, he was right, we were all filthy, we all stunk pretty bad and I was beyond tired, pushing the squad back for a hot meal and a shower. Than to be harassed by this know it all dick head who apparently was unaware of what we had been up to the past few days. I had full permission from my conscience as somehow this guy all of a sudden had run into some unfortunate bad luck.
I wasn't prepared for a surprise inspection by someone that I didn't know, who was out of his place as far as my patience and tolerance was concerned. As none of us deserved his bull shit or anyone else's for that matter.
We weren't ready to play this State side game of petty ass chicken shit with this very tall, F'n ass hole of a prick, that he was. Lucky for him that I was to tired to think straight, but In a way I did the right thing, because once the rest of the boys found out what this guy told me, there would have been a fight over who got to be the one to deliver Mr. AH to the promise land.
We were all trained graduates of criminal war university at that point mostly by association. So, one more negative entity of which we had classified as more of an enemy threat than Victor Charlie himself if it even came down to one or the other. If there was no other choice, that this guy was our enemy. How's that for some honest insight of soul searching Huh?
This was the kind of crap that was more than disrespectful for those who are out of this safe zone where this guy stays... probably with a guarantee from the Crotch to lure him out of the reserves. So, he could collect his medals and status as a real phony Vietnam combat Marine who never got dirty or even dug a hole for that matter and the closest that he ever got as far as taking enemy fire was right here at the front gate.
It was a good thing that he couldn't have read my mind because he was so bored and needed some exercise because he has nothing else to do. He was walking around looking to bully his rank around on some Pee-On's who could care less about rank and who wasn't about too kiss his ass. They were more likely kill his ass before getting their noses brown. I had missed an excellent opportunity because, I was to beat by hand the Major present without a spoon. Picture the look on his face if I would have done that? He would have started walking backwards in fear of this insane psychopath who didn't mind dying... just too see the look of this guy seeing the entrance of the Gates of Hell. Well he would have at least changed his tune while running really fast for the Command CP, don't you think? And, ready to rat me out? Like he did anyway.
OK so now you know the reason that they called me spoon as in one of my pictures I said that when your two and a half seconds are up... better get rid of that grenade because I held it for two seconds or a little more and never threw the spoon away... more control, without that noisy spoon. I played a lot of baseball as a catcher, pitcher, right field and third base. That M - 26 fragmentation hand grenade was nothing more than a very heavy base ball about the same size but I threw it many ways but underhand was my preference, more control without that sp00n and less noise.
He was very fortunate that I was about ready to drop from fatigue and close to getting a hot meal as my stomach was starving for some chow. I tried my best to ignore his insults, while I did have some evil thoughts of dragging his ass on a five day search and destroy mission or tying a frag around his neck with no spoon? I know there is something not right with me as I knew that when I enlisted and why that Lieutenant on Paris Island did ask me if I would like to go home today with a discharge, but I refused, so I could go to Vietnam with all of you.
If he not had been at the front gate I'm not sure what would have happened as the arrogant fool just became my enemy, with his comment. The Mother F'er was another one of those guys who probably was with S-2 and was sent to a Vietnam safe zone in order to make sure America lost the war as this Clown was doing a fine job creating more enemies .
I had more respect for those peasants who work the rice paddies then this Major who never had to leave the Battalion Area except for a visit to the shitter. That was probably the only patrol he had ever been on, searching for some shit paper and a map as to find that huge ass hole of his.
Imagine having to go out on daily patrols with a defective weapon, and come back in the Battalion rear area only to be harassed by someone who was so bored that he needed something more to keep himself occupied, this made me wonder, who's side am I fighting for, if I'm being targeted for prosecution and an other Article 15 that I definitely deserved, right? Of course!
I think my rank was reduced back to Private because of Him, wow, there goes my career, I think I lost twenty bucks a month, it's too bad that I couldn't have been busted back to recruit, so I could go back home, as this war was a farce as there were more of those guys who did nothing like this bum in disguise.
I read a story about this Senator who supposedly was a 2/1 Major who said, "when I first got to Vietnam I went out on some patrols in order to know my way around and get a feel for what this war was going to be like". He was from Pennsylvania. I'm guessing? could this be the same ass hole? If he was a politician he knew how to lie. Anyone ever see a Major on a patrol? I think John Wayne was a major on a four man Recon team one time that had some special top secret mission behind enemy lines to accomplish, this Dude might have seen that movie and thought that he was John Wayne, it makes sense, and bashing the Brass is still fun fifty years later.
But I can say that we were fortunate that we had some real officers who were not just good but were real leaders, like Captain Lynch who I had great respect for even though he screwed up my 30 days in the Brig. But, thats the way some officers tell a Pee-On that their sorry for transferring me as I know things were never the same since I left. In fact that was almost the turning point of that war? Six months after the spoon had that Bridge duty, the VC finally blew up that Bridge. Coincidence? probably not! But after I got transferred out of Golf and rotated back to the World that's when the VC started the TeT offense. I found that out in Da Nang, the VC heard about some Marine who refused to carry that defective M-16 Rifle as they knew our fire power was not superior any more as it never was the same since the weapon change over.
In Hong Kong I heard about TET but, I was catching a buzz and I thought those guys in the next booth said TET but I thought they meant TIT? Who would have believed me anyways as all those other previous times where I had a good idea about a winning war strategy, I was told to shut up. As, no one wanted to hear my plan or my opinion so don't blame the sp00n or any other grunt for losing that war because we had no say about anything so, how do you like those apples?
Well after Operation Medina on November 7th I was sent back to the World. And just a few months went by when Ho Chi Minh found out the Spoon had left Vietnam. For sure he ordered General Giap to attack and that was like that last French Battle of Dien Bien Phu that was the beginning of the end for American Imperialism, not sorry!
Edgar Goulet (sp00n)